


You're Not Him.

by Pattypixie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arguing, M/M, Season/Series 06, Soulless Sam Winchester, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-11 21:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/pseuds/Pattypixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel wakes up a few months after being slain by Lucifer. The first thing he does is go to his boyfriend, who is definitely not how he left him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Anon tumblr prompt: "Can you please write a fic where Gabriel comes back a few months after Sam is soulless and is upset because it's not him and angry that he's using Sam's body to have sex with other women and other things. Also because they were together in the past."
> 
> So this ended up being a 2 parter. :P

    Gabriel's eyes snapped open. He took a breath, tasting grass and nature. Okay. Outside was one answer to the many questions he had. Slowly, he wiggled his fingers, his toes, then his hips to make sure that everything was in working order. He sat up suddenly, immediately regretting it as his had started to pound. He pressed his fingers against his temple and massaged. The pain slowly went away and Gabriel was able to think a little more clearly about his situation. Last thing he could remember was being impaled by Lucifer. A spike of rage ran through him. Maybe "big bag of dicks" was too much of a complement for his brother. Another thought ran through his head. Sam. That brought Gabriel to his feet. He needed to find him. He hadn't been able to tell him--the words even caught in his mind. In under a minute, he had honed in on Sam's location. At least it seemed like Sam. Something was different. He also noticed someone was with him. Gabriel sighed, but decided it was best to do their reunion privately. He grinned, thinking about all the private things they'd end up doing to eachother. After waiting on a park bench for close to three hours, or an eternity for Gabriel, he checked again and noticed Sam was alone. Finally! Gabriel swallowed the last of his chocolate bar. Anticipation fluttered through him until he finally mustered up the courage to fly there.  
    Gabriel landed, invisible, in the middle of what looked like a cabin. He decided against showing himself so that maybe he could mess around and see if Sam could guess he was here. The sound of a sigh and a door opening caught his attention and his jaw practically fell to the floor as Sam walked out of the bathroom in only a towel. That was definitely not the body he remembered. Sam had always been muscular but, Gabe was pretty sure that he had reached chiseled, greek god status at this point. Gabriel caught a whiff of his shampoo as he walked by and frowned. Was that Axe? What happened to mangoes and the frosting scented body wash Gabe had given him? Gabriel glanced at the paper on the table and his eyes widened at the date. He had been out for 5 months. Glancing back at Sam, he realized just how much pain he must have put his human though. Still invisible, Gabe transported himself to outside the front door. This would be better. Gabriel knocked on the door, wrought with anxiety about how Sam would react. After about a minute or so, the door opened, revealing Sam in just his jeans, rubbing a towel against his hair. The archangel bit the inside of his cheek, trying to contain the inappropriate thoughts running through his head.  
    "Gabriel?" Sam asked, more confused, it seemed, than anything.  
    "It's me, Sammy," Gabriel smiled. "I'm alive...somehow. But that's not important. Miss me?"  
    "Uh," Sam removed the towel from his head, "Yeah. Yeah, I missed you."  
    "Damn, do you give everyone that comes back from the dead this warm of a reception?" Gabriel frowned, a little hurt. "I was kinda expecting more hugging, kissing, and thank-god-you're-alive sex."  
    "Just come in," Sam ordered, his face holding an expression of uncomfortable confusion. He moved to the side, and Gabriel stared at him as he walked into the cabin. Sam closed the door and ran the towel a couple more times across his head before crossing the room and throwing it in a hamper. He gestured for Gabriel to take a seat at the table as he sat in the one across from it. Gabriel reluctantly took the seat, crossing his arms and legs. He clicked his tongue and narrowed his eyes at whatever was in the room with him, because it sure as hell wasn't Sam.  
    "What are you doing here, Gabriel?" Sam asked, his tone honest.  
    "Are you being serious right now?" Gabe's tone had quickly changed from archangel boyfriend to angry trickster god. "Please tell me this is some twisted joke because even I'm not finding this any sort of funny."  
    "I get that we had...something in the past, but I've moved on," Sam explained. "I just had some girl here about an hour ago." An anger rose in Gabriel and without a moment's notice, he was grabbing Sam by the shirt, his eyes glowing blue with rage.  
    "Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Sam Winchester?" He growled, pressing an angel blade to the human's neck. Sam chuckled a bit. Gabriel was directing his full archangel rage at him and Sam was laughing. "This isn't funny, Asshat."  
    "Gabriel. I am Sam," He said, still smiling a little. Gabe shoved the blade a little into Sam's neck, drawing a bead of blood. "Okay! Okay, listen. Here's something only I know. Gabriel, the all powerful archangel, will collapse in a tiny puddle of goo when I do this." Sam reached up, before Gabe could react, and dug a couple fingers into the angel's shoulders where his wings would be. The blade fell from Gabriel's hand and his body relaxed, a warm sensation resonating from the spot that Sam had touched. He let out a small moan and fell to his knees, resting his head in Sam's lap.  
    "Okay, you're Sam," Gabriel sighed. "And that was not fair." He lifted his head moved so he was sitting on his heels. "That still doesn't explain what's wrong with you."  
    "Are you really that self-absorbed that you think that I couldn't stop having feelings for you?" Sam said, standing up. Gabriel stood with him and narrowed his eyes again.  
    "Yes," He pushed Sam back down in the chair and placed his hand on the taller man's chest. The skin around Gabriel's hand glowed and Sam made some noises of discomfort. Gabe quickly pulled his hand away and stared at Sam, a little fear in his eyes.   
    "What the hell?" Sam rubbed his chest where Gabriel's hand had been.  
    "Oh...Oh Sam..." Gabriel kept staring at him with sad eyes. He backed away and sat back down, running a hand through his hair. "Something _is_ wrong with you."  
    "I told you, I just don't have feelings--"  
    "For anyone..." Gabriel finished. Sam's eyes widened.   
    "What? How do you..."  
    "I felt it...or lack of it," Gabriel buried his face in his hands for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell him. It was best to just come out with it. "You have no soul, Sam. I don't know what happened while I was gone but, you're just a shell." Sam stared for a moment, not sure what to say. He didn't care. He knew he should, but he just didn't.   
    "What do I do?" Sam asked, not quite sure he wanted to know.   
    "Well, first, you better tell me how this happened. And I need a drink," Gabriel snapped his fingers and a bottle of UV Cake appeared in his hand. He took a drink and downed half the bottle. Sam stood up and started to pace.   
    "Well, after you died, a couple months later I said 'yes' to Lucifer and jumped in the pit with him and Michael," Gabriel spit out a bit of vodka.  
    "You what?"  
    "Please let me finish," Sam continued. "Next thing I know, I'm just laying in the field. So, I pick myself up, go to Bobby's, and start back up hunting."  
    "What about Dean?" Gabriel took another swig of vodka.  
    "He's living a normal life with his girlfriend. Bobby said to leave him alone, so I did," Sam shrugged.   
    "So, he has no idea you're alive," Gabriel repeated.   
    "I guess not. Does it matter?" Sam looked confused. Gabriel almost gagged on his drink again.  
    "Wow. Your lack of codependency with Dean definitely confirms the lack of soul prognosis," Gabe set the bottle down and stood up. "So you hunt alone then?"  
    "Yeah. Generally."  
    "You've been soulless and alone for..." Gabriel counted on his fingers. "2-3 months?"  
    "Well, not really alone," Sam corrected. "I've had a LOT of sex." He smiled. "It's the only thing that makes me feel...something. By the way, did you still want to--"  
    "NO," Gabriel stated, through gritted teeth. He turned his back to avoid hitting Sam. _It's not him_ , Gabriel had to keep reminding himself. He clenched his fists, not being able to get the images of Sam sleeping with other people out of his head. "I have to go."  
    "Okay," Sam said, nonchalantly, finally grabbing a shirt and putting it on. Gabe turned around.  
    "I don't know if I'll be back," Gabriel baited. Sam shrugged and the angel frowned. He knew that it wasn't really Sam but it hurt all the same. Gabriel scoffed and flew off, hoping to find a place to calm down and look for a way to help Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel realizes there's nothing he can do for Sam and joins Castiel's rebellion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly angels this chapter. Don't worry. The banter more than makes up for any missing of Sam.
> 
> Also, I've become a little dedicated to this one. :P I can't wait to see how my brain lets me end it. I'm thinking happy. I'm hoping happy. hahaha 
> 
> Also tried a new paragraph/layout style. I think it's a little better and easier to read. :P

    Gabriel had been looking, literally, everywhere for a solution. The only place he hadn't gone was Heaven but...there was good reason for that. In the couple months he had been away from Sam, he had yet to find a safe way to get his soul back. At this point he wasn't sure what to do. The archangel had resigned to watching Sam from outside the cabin they had reunited in. He seemed to have found his Grandfather, who had also been brought back from the dead, and started hunting with him. These were Gabriel's days now. Watching his mate come and go, a little peice of him dying whenever Sam brought home someone new to fuck and discard. Every once in a while, he secretly wished one of those booty calls was him. 

    One night, as Gabriel tried to tune out the sounds of Sam banging a busty blonde, he heard a flapping of wings. He didn't look up, already knowing who it was. 

    "I almost didn't believe that you had returned, Gabriel," Castiel expressed. 

    "Yeah, well...Surprise, Bitch," Gabriel lacked a lot of the enthusiasm that he usually had. 

    "Why are you watching Sam?" Cas asked, cocking his head.

    "The same reason you watch Dean," Gabe looked up at Cas, who chose to wear a stoic expression now.

    "I don't understand."

    "Ah. Still just sticking to the eye-fucking," Gabriel sighed. "You both really need to grow a pair."

    "I believe we both have...pairs. Regardless, this is about Sam, not Dean," Cas redirected. "Do you know what's wrong with him?"

    "He came back from Hell without a soul," Gabriel admitted. "I still have no idea how he got out of there in the first place."

    "I pulled him out," Cas mentioned, casually.

    "You what!?" Gabriel turned his whole body toward him. "Did you know he was sans-soul?"

    "Not at first, but I suspected it soon after," Cas's expression hadn't changed. 

    "Have you found a way to get it back?" Gabriel was frantic. If Cas could get Sam's body out of the cage, there must be a way to get his soul out of there as well.

    "Why would you want to?" Cas inquired. Gabriel's jaw dropped.

    "Was that a serious question?"

    "Gabriel, Sam's soul has been stuck with Michael and Lucifer for almost six months," Cas explained. "It's probably torn to shreds by now."

    "I can fix it," Gabriel insisted.

    "You may be an archangel but, there are things that you can't fix. Even I know that," Cas replied. Gabriel's shoulders sagged and he grabbed his brother's arms. 

    "I don't know what to do, Castiel," Gabe confessed. "I'm completely lost without Sam."

    "I could use your help," Cas offered. Gabriel let go and stood up straight. 

    "With what?"

    "Raphael has been amassing an army," Cas said. "He wishes to continue with the apocalypse. I've been trying to stop him." Gabriel's brow furrowed and he looked away. 

    "No," he answered. "I can't. I won't participate in your civil war. It's the reason I left in the first place."

    "This could be your chance to bring that peace that you always sought home, to heaven, Gabriel," Cas countered. "Or would you rather stay here, watching Sam rot away, not giving a second thought about you?"

    "Woah," Gabriel stared at the other angel. "A little harsh there, Cas. Even for you."

    "I apologize, but I have to be these days," Cas turned to Gabriel. "I can't sit here and convince you, though. If you choose to join the resistance, come find me." He flew off in a rush of feathers, leaving Gabriel alone again. He looked into the cabin and saw Sam putting his pants back on, the girl still laying in his bed. Maybe Castiel was right. The pain in his chest just grew with each passing day, and it was getting to the point where he couldn't stand it anymore. 

    Gabriel flew to the field where the cage was located. He slowly lowered himself to the ground. Hesitantly, he put an ear to the grass. Gabriel pulled away almost instantly, hearing the raw, angelic cries of his brothers fighting. If angels could cry, Gabriel definitely would be. He sat back on his heels and stared at the ground. He could go in there. If Castiel could do it, Gabriel, the archangel, definitely could. He sincerely doubted that his brothers would want to give up their 'toy' so easily, though. Even if they did, they wouldn't let Gabriel just walk away with it. He bent back down on to the ground, body shaking with sobs and tears that couldn't come. What was the point of him? Gabriel had assumed that God had brought him back but why? Why now? Why wasn't it sooner, so he could save Sam? If it was up to him, he'd be in that pit, duking it out for all eternity. At least Gabriel could put up a fight. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. There was nothing he could do. He needed to accept that. He should have accepted it back before he met Sam, before he fell in love with him, and certainly before he lost him. Gabriel stood up and looked to the sky. With one last thought of Sam, he gathered himself and flew to Castiel.

 

*   *   *

    "You know, Raph?" Gabriel panted, archangel blade still poised in his hand for defense. "I knew Mike and Luci sucked all kinds of balls, but you are on a whole new level of ball sucking."

    "I'm disappointed in you, Gabriel," Raphael started to circle his brother. "You have not been keeping up with your training." Gabriel clenched his jaw. He wasn't even supposed to be in this situation. This was supposed to be a simple pick up of his own freaking horn. Gabriel had stuck it in a temple in Norway for safe keeping while he went around pretending to be Loki, but it seemed that Raphael had figured out where it was as well.

    "Yeah, well, while you and Michael were out measuring your blades," Gabriel stood up straighter and followed his brother's movements, "I learned a couple of tricks."

    "Oh, Gabriel," Raphael laughed. "Always the trickster." He poised himself to attack. "Never the soldier." He brought his blade down onto Gabriel who deflected it swiftly with his own.

    "I was never meant to be a soldier," Gabriel said through gritted teeth. "Dad made me to be a messenger. You three were the ones who forced me to be a fighter. How else was I supposed to survive?" For every attack Gabriel made, his brother blocked it. He looked barely phased, a casual smirk on his face.

    "Go back to your pagans," Raphael scoffed. He swung his blade forcefully and hit Gabriel's, causing it to leave his hand and clatter on the floor. Raphael brought his blade up to his brother's throat and closed the gap between them. "I don't want to have to hurt you, brother."

    "Good thing you won't have to," Gabriel smirked and then shimmered out of existence, leaving Raphael threatening nothing and looking confused. A whistle came from across the temple, and Raphael turned to see his brother holding the horn, and waving his fingers before snapping himself away. 

    Gabriel reappeared in the current safehouse that Castiel and Balthazar had acquired. The walls were covered in anti-angel graffiti, plus a couple sigils that Gabriel had remembered, permitting only certain angels in. Though Castiel didn't see the purpose, Gabe and Balthazar insisted on adding a few human comforts to the warehouse, including a couch, some chairs, a couple beds, a wine cooler, and a pantry that specifically stored Gabriel's candy stash. The archangel tossed the horn onto the coffee table and threw himself onto the couch, tired. That was the first time he'd used a significant amount of grace since he had been resurrected. He forgot how draining it could be. 

    "Run into a little trouble?" Balthazar strode over, wine glass in his hand, and sat on one of the chairs across from the couch. 

    "Yeah. Raphael showed up about the same time I did," Gabriel ran his hands over his face, then turned and propped himself up by his elbow. "How's holding down the fort been?"

    "Dreadful. I don't understand why one of us has to stay here all the time and why it's always me," Balthezar complained, crossing his legs. 

    "A, I'm an archangel," Gabriel sat up and started listing with his fingers. "B, I didn't unsink the Titanic because I didn't like a movie. And, C, I don't really have a last point, but fuck you, I'm awesome, and that's more than enough." He snapped himself up a soda and started drinking it, smiling over the straw. Balthazar rolled his eyes and stood up.

    "You have to be at least a few thousand years older than me and I have yet to understand how you can still be such a child," He flapped away, Gabriel presumed to his own self made room in the safehouse. His smile went away seconds after Balthazar left and he laid back down on the couch. It had been at least 3 months since he'd stopped stalking Sam...actively. He focused his grace and found Sam. Closing his eyes, he was able to get a visual picture. It looked like he was on a hunt, something with werewolves. Sam smiled at something his grandfather said, and Gabriel found himself smiling a little too. He missed being the cause of that smile. Gabriel could tell that Sam wasn't being genuine though. He still had no soul and he could see it all over his face. Gabriel cut off his grace and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe Cas had been right. It was best that he had left Sam alone. At least for now.


End file.
